Have you ever lost someone you love or know someone close to you who is in grief? I hope this message will help those in grief and those who supports them.
6 am. It’s another beautiful morning to awaken, to create, to celebrate. A text message, “please call if you awake, I need to talk to you” from a friend. The phone barely rang before she answered. I could hear the discomfort in her voice, she was in tears. “Is everything ok?” I asked. After a few seconds of soft sobbing, she was finally able to speak up. She said that the man she loved so purely for over a decade, her lover and best friend had just died in a motorcycle accident.
The pain is so much that it is impossible to explain. This type of pain is unique. It cannot be compared with any other. I can say this in all authority because I lived with it for years after the loss of my husband, lover and best friend.
What People Feel During Grief
When someone we love dies, we feel devastated, confused, and powerless. I remember thinking; “God give me any worldly problem, take all my money, all the possessions, I can be homeless, sick, anything, but please bring him back”. I was willing to trade my life, I was ready for anything, whatever was required I would have done. However with the loss of a loved one, there is no bargaining with God. A new kind of life begins, and it will never, ever be the same. We must however, learn how to live it. We become an emotional confusion that is difficult even for us to understand, and while others are trying to be supportive, most of it doesn’t register or make things better.
The biggest gift someone can give to a person if grief is to listen with an open heart and just be there. One moment we are grateful for the time we had with our loved one, all the memories of joy and happiness, in another, we are mad at them for leaving us and not putting up a bigger fight to survive. We are mad at God or any other higher power we believe in for taking them so soon, and we are mad at ourselves for not saying how much we loved and appreciated them more often, and for not spending more quality time with them. We go from one extreme emotion to another, and get really confused. One of the worst things I see people do is pretending that they are ok by suppressing their emotions and moving on with their lives and not allowing time to grieving. When we do that, we stretch our process of healing wounds for many years or even decades to come by putting Band-Aid on an open wound. That does not heal the hurt but patches it instead. However, opening the wound and looking at it, feeling and dressing it, creates a much faster process to recovery. Grief is a natural human process and must be experienced. You can become much bigger, and a more loving soul than you ever thought possible.
What Happens To Those Who Die?
In my grief, I spent years looking for an answer to “why do we die? And what happens after?” I searched for the answer to this question in different religions, and from people who I believed knew more than I did, such as some of the best personal development and spiritual leaders of our time. My personal Christian upbringing just didn’t do the subject much justice for I knew there is a lot more to it. I spent months learning meditation with Buddhist monks, joined church and grievant groups and spent some time with a Rabbi. I had no idea that the road to my higher self started then.
After years of searching, learning and experiencing, today I know. We are eternal, immortal, universal, and infinite. We never die we just change our energy from one form to another and a human body is a container that carries our eternal energy for a very limited time. The time is limited; either it is 20 years or a hundred. We come into the human body to experience and gain that which we need for our eternal expansion. And it is different for all of us. I want you to know that even though you don’t have a physical presence of the person next to you and will never be able to experience that warmth, breath, touch, you can always feel them by tuning into their energy. Talk to them, they listen. They will answer if you pay attention, listen and observe.
Conversation With Medium
When I got brave enough and visited a medium, my husband came to speak with me. The conversation was deep and detailed. It was absolutely beautiful and I could not stop crying. He gave me the NAMES of people who he brought into my life to help me. They were the most influential people that I had met over the period of last year. We had a chance to apologize for our human stubbornness, and tell once again how much we love each other. He said that our son loves railroad crossing, and indeed he is obsessed with railroad crossing signs. At that moment, I realized that he didn’t just leave us, and that everything in my life has been guided. For many of you, this information might be too uncomfortable. It was for me for a long time because I wasn’t ready to open up to a new reality. I was comfortable in this 3D world, and it was all I knew. I’m so happy that I was brave enough to look into the uncommon and open up to a new life where I can be the true me, a woman of eternal light that is madly in love with life, and all of life’s experiences. You are hurting now, but trust me, one day the hurt will be transformed. God puts a rainbow in every cloud, and there is one in yours. And I believe one day you will become a rainbow in someone’s cloud too.