10 Lessons That I Learned From Becoming a Widow.
When he was in the ICU he never opened his eyes. He was unconscious. I would speak to him and read beautiful books about the law of attraction and healing. Tears would come from his eyes. I knew he could hear me. I knew he felt and understood me. And I knew he was afraid to leave Gabriel and I.
Unconsciousness doesn’t mean a loss of consciousness. It only means the loss of physical senses.
On the day three in ICU I felt gentleness filling up my heart. I told him “My love I know that you’re fighting for us but if you have to go I understand. I don’t know how, but I know deep inside that Gabriel and I will be OK. That night he passed.
Our loved ones can be holding on to life because they are afraid that we won’t be able to sustain ourselves if we are left behind. Often we need to give them permission to go.
On day four I was sitting with my friends Erik and Mariana talking about Reggie. There was a baby bottle on the table. The bottle started moving from one side of the table to another side of the table and continued to move. Eric asked “Is everyone else seeing this? I just want to make sure I’m not crazy.” All three of us saw the same thing. We were in tears and awe. For the next months many light bulbs would burst and electrical would blink often. I would also see him in my dreams, and I would feel his presence strongly.
Our loved ones often try to tell us that they are OK by using different tools. We see it as phenomena.
A month later I went upstairs to only have another light bulb burst. I kneeled and started to cry. I said “I know that you’re trying to speak to me but I am afraid, I do not understand this yet, I don’t know how to interpret it, this makes me scared. Please go my love, I will be OK, and I will take a good care of Gabriel.” After that moment all phenomena in the house stopped.
Spirits can hear our intentions they can hear our words and they always obey our free will.
A year later a lady was doing a card readings at the party. I wasn’t very open, but I decided what the heck it’s only $15 bucks, I’ll do it just for entertainment. During that session Reggie came through. She said “I have a male spirit here that wants to speak with you.” I knew exactly who he was. She started to give me some words and phrases that made no sense to anyone but him and I. That was our language, the things that only him, I, and our son knew. During that session I was able to say how mad I was at him for leaving me, and how much I missed him. We said our last I love you and our last sorrys.
I spent a year in the therapy and bereavement group prior. One session with a medium can be more healing and powerful than years in therapy.
After the session with a medium I wanted to know it all for myself. Ever since I was a little girl I spoke with Angels and could hear God clearly. But this was different. And that is where my mediumship training started. And the whole other world of energy, healing, miracles, and more phenomena opened up. (P.S I’m not a great medium but an amazing healer. Something I discovered down the road)
We all have intuitive gifts. No one came into this world without compass to navigate it. Each one of you can either hear, see, know, feel, smell, or all of the above. It is about a desire to discover how your receive guidance from the spirit world.
My training started. Books, courses, seminars, and most importantly an amazing medium in my life to help me navigate and understand where I start and where I end and where the spirit world starts and the spirit world ends. For the next seven years I communicated with Reggie. Here are some things that I learned from him.
It was the 4th lifetime that we were married. We were not meant to be together in this lifetime. Our contact was for him to come into my life and set me up. And he did! He sent me on my life path to discover my purpose so I could do the work I came into this world to do. He gave me son, home, and so much more. He set me up for purpose and success. That was our contract.
We all have soul contracts, karma, and destiny to fulfill. We never have all things revealed to us. Some things we will never have answers for. But it is our responsibility to take one step at a time towards the truth of our hearts. That is where the true knowledge lays.
For seven years I’ve connected with Reggie. He would tell me about our son and what he was doing in school, how he was feeling etc. I felt like we were parenting from both sides. I found a lot of comfort in it. I taught Gabriel how to call on his father for protection and guidance if he felt scared or uncomfortable.
Spiritual side is closer than we think, it is just a thought away, an intention away. There is a lot of knowledge, peace, and humbleness that can be revealed. when you are spiritually tuned in.
Two days before his seven year death anniversary he appeared in my morning meditation and said “I have to go.” I asked “what do you mean?” He said “God has given me a very special work to do. I am to transition souls of fallen soldiers from the battlefield into the heaven. I will be checking on you at times, but very rarely. You are well now. “I didn’t want him go, not like that. That evening I was in a yoga class laying in savasana and there he appeared right above me and said “My love I need to go”. I answered “I don’t want you to go”, and I got up. I thought about it all evening. I was grieving again. Another loss, but a different kind. Next morning as tears were rolling down my eyes I said “I love you, I’m sad, but I understand. You can go now.” From that moment on it all changed. I might feel his presence a few time a year now.
There is a lot going on in spiritual realms. All kinds of work is being done, and tasks are being performed. There are different planes and universes. I studied life after death in depth from all religions, mediums, healers for 10 years now. I even have my masters degree in Spiritual and Metaphysical studies and on my way getting Ph.D. I came to the conclusion that I will truly know what happens after death after I die. My little human mind can’t comprehend such vast concepts no matter how hard I try to make sense of it.
10 years ago I didn’t think I could be happy again. 10 years ago I didn’t know how to live, how to continue on. Sometimes we don’t understand why things happen to us. But what if they happen for us? There is a divine meaning, a deeper message for every tragedy, loss, heart ache, and disappointment that we might experience. I was blessed to have many questions answered. There are many more that I have.
Some things we will never know why. Some things are beyond our little human minds. We must get humbled. We’re not that smart. Putting God in a box for our human brain make sense of this big magnificent power is disservice. “The Tao That Can Be Named Is Not The Tao”, “The God That Can Be Named Is Not The God”. Divine Light is within us, around us, and available to us at all times.